Honoring Loss...

Honoring Loss...

Thinking of loss today—Whether it is a loss of a relationship or a loved one, of innocence or trust, a stage in life, a belief system, or even a way of life—loss is a part of our journey.  We can’t avoid loss or sadness, without avoiding life, without avoiding love. Opening ourselves up to grieve means allowing ourselves to feel, not numb, to recognize and understand our emotions, to be willing to sit in the dark with them.

Viktor E. Frankl suggested, “There was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”

Sometimes we get lost in our loss and can’t find our way out.  We may fear grieving or not know how to move forward. To allow ourselves to grieve is essential—is human. We must walk in…. to find our way out.

“Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.” ~Rachel Naomi Remen

It takes great faith and strength to find your way through the grieving process, through the pain, to trust that you too won’t die within, as you stumble through the dark. To believe within the chaos that you can somehow hold on to life and allow a glimmer of light and hope to lead you and pull you through to the other side.  

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” ~Francis of Assisi

What will you find on the other side of loss?  Possibly more fear as you’re stretched beyond your comfort zone, the vast unknown--a new normal.  You may even find joy.   What lies beyond is the gift that we are given, the understanding we gain, the purpose and meaning of our loss. A new beginning…

Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. … All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”

By grieving you honor your loss, your void, your sorrow, your loved one.  You loosen your grip on the pain and enable your heart to heal, to accept the loss.  You allow your loss to be etched upon your heart with love and peace. 

To All Mothers...

To All Mothers...

To all mothers… It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about judging whether we are good or bad, right or wrong or whether we are here or there, it’s about simply SHOWING UP and BEING REAL. It’s about waking up each morning and merely choosing to be present in our lives and the lives of our children. Celebrate this day and every day for showing up and just being you!

YOU ARE BEAUTIFULLY AND PERFECTLY…. IMPERFECT!

We NEED to LOVE ourselves MORE and ACCEPT ourselves on a deeper level!

Truly KNOW it is okay to be REAL!

The following is a reminder of how it sometimes feels to be real….

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day…. 

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real." 

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. 

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." 

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" 

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Happy Mother's Day!

Day One...

Day One...

Today was a reflection of both the triumphs and the failures of the year, both big and small, the sorrows, mistakes, successes, the good choices, the bad, the happy days and the sad. I am grateful for change, and that I’m not the same person I was last year, regardless of how painful it was to get here. Stagnation is more painful. I know now that joy is sweeter, when you have felt great sorrow. We may not have full control over what happened yesterday, but we do have the choice on how we live today.

Every year we are given a gift, a “do over,” a chance to right the wrongs of last year. What a beautiful, forgiving plan…. we don’t get it right the first time, we get another chance. On average, we get to do this 71 times, more if we are lucky. Less, if we eat too many Twinkies. 

Today is a new beginning, a renewal, a tabula rosa, a chance to change our course, or stay the course…. but progress and not fear change. We may not have control of how our story started, or how each day plays out, but what we do have control over is our choice to act or react each day, to live in fear or stand in faith, to have gratitude and create abundace or to spiral in never ending scarcity, to be the authors of our own story, or the victims.

Victor Frankel taught through first-hand experience, “ Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation…. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Today I turn the page and start anew…